- Jeu Jan 03, 2013 2:19 pm
#129997
Bonjour,
J'ai eu une discussion il y a quelques jours avec une amie russe sur Facebook. On se connait depuis quelques années (elle connait bien mes galères ), on a parlé de plusieurs choses la concernant. Vers la fin on a dévié sur le thème de la séduction.
Cette discussion m'a marqué parce qu'elle remet en question plusieurs croyances que je tenais pour vraies, que j'avais lu sur spikeseduction ou d'autres sites (notion de prix, comment jauger l’intérêt d'une fille, première impression..etc). J'en parle vers la fin.
Je me suis permis de faire un copier/coller d'une partie du dialogue. Animal va piquer une crise mais c'est pour la bonne cause! excusez aussi mon anglais pas terrible et le fait qu'il y ait beaucoup de caca nombriliste. Mais je voudrais bien avoir votre avis sur ca.
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(....)
Lysa : )) how about you? what is new with you?
Me : well just average life, a lot of work indeed (started a new job last april). I'm practicing horse riding recently, I like this very much.
Lysa : ))) haha that means you have a lot of free time with your new job
Me : well, not really, I'm doing it on the week end. I like horses really. amazing animal.
Lysa : are you trying to impress some beauty over there? seems like that)))))))))
Me : hhh no no it's just an interest for that.. I enjoy this. But frankly we have a beautiful girl in our team.
Lysa : aha i knew that!!
Me : she's a champion, she wins a lot of horses Tours abroad.. but don't worry I'm definitly out of compétition hhh
Lysa : why you say that!
Me : well Lysa, it's "high level" she's damn beautiful, sociable, big success.. beside this, I don't think she have crush for me. so I gave up.
Lysa : when men say that i feel sorry for the girls, that is common around the world i think that men act like they don't care
Me : Lysa don't be sorry for her, she will be fine !! (haha)
Lysa : and in the end the girl might end up alone or with some jerk
Me : I don't think so.. may be she have a boyfriend now.. it's probably the case you know. that will be damn crazy if she's single.
Lysa : that doesnt mean that she is happy and settled and YOU EVEN DONT KNOW FOR SURE!!! you are >%((((
Me : well, if she's interessed with me (0.001% chance) she will do a move. then I will go for it. but now no. how about you ? anything new under the sun ?
Lysa : under the sun under the moon - no male is makig a move - i feel like men are extinct - only ghosts that look like men walk by
Me : .. you don't understand Lysa : it's not cool to be rejected you know. a man can't move unless he have signs of interest, like the girl looking at him or other things.
Lysa : it is not cool to be coward
Me : ??
Lysa : i dont know how to show this interest and sometimes i think that i made this sign and it it turns out that noone noticed this sign
Me : well, for me if a girl look at me, smile to me when I smile to her I think it's enough. but this girl I'm talking about she even don't notice me.. when I'm with another guy she look at him, talk to him without seing me. I'm defintly out of game you see. it's good to face the truth.
Lysa : because women want self-confident and even impudent, and you know - i see some men making a move - but i am not sure that i like them - and i just watch them from distance - judge them, wait. they may think that i am not interested too - and leave; and i am left all alone
Me : damn; well, if you're not sure.. that mean you're not intereseted at the moment right.. ?
Lysa : while may be when they take a chance and risk it - try to impress me, do something impressive. i may see their potential
Me : what the hell is that ?!
Lysa : no woman is sure what she wants - but confident and agressive men draw attention and they seem interesting. and then a lot of women are mistaken and broken hearted because of jerks and good guys that don't want to be intrusive - they miss their chance, and good guys blame women for being so cold hearted.
Me : well, you're probably right..
Lysa : while - for instance i so very much am afraid of being regected by some macho tooo and dont know how to make a move
Me : that's easy Lysa : all you have to do is look at him if he looks at you and smile if he smile that's really enough and encouraging! and you're not loosing anything because it's a common behavior. how can a guy go to talk to a girl if she's not even want to look at him ?
Lysa : it is the hardest thing in the world - to show interest and look in the eyes. it is much easier to pretend to be not interested, it is easier to pretend to be self-sufficient and disinterested pretence is all about women.
Me : I See. but I still think that if a woman is intereset she will make things easy for the guy.
Lysa : women pretend to be disinterested, but the very moment you make the first move - she will follow your actions and watch you carefully and observe your next move and you will have to give her assurance that you are something different
Me : well yeah.. but beside this, I'm not sure that I'm "enough" for this girl you know.. she's from a wealthy background (kinda "bourgeois") and a horseriding champion. I'm just an average guy.
Lysa : i mean women in general
Me : oh I see.
Lysa : there must be a lot of women
Me : yeah sure.
Lysa : and making a move towards one of them can draw attention of another one. make moves to two women a day at least and a third woman may fall in love in the end))))))))))
Me : hhh
Lysa : women need knights, unexpectedness, romance, and even if one romance ends it doesn't mean that it was useless and in vain every romance is meaningfull
Me : hhh you're a romantic girl!
Lysa : average girl
Me : you must listen to Glinka hh the famous russian composer (haha)
Lysa : ) ok i will. but you must listen to me!!!
Me : okay, I will make move if I see a girl but this is something rare I don't have time really doing a lot of sport, piano work also..
Lysa : don't be lasy - compliment to as many women as you can. try to say nice words to so many women as you see during the day. tell soft words to women and don't think about MARRIGE when you say those words; say good words to be interesting otherwise you are one more boring guy that has marrige issues that is really creepy!
Me : I'm not james bond Lysa : you can't expecte miracle from random guy.
Lysa : pretend. that is all about relationships.
Me : yeah. I wish it was more easy..
Lysa : and some time later you will get used to it and find something true. it is easy !!!!
Me : ok I'll try. not with this girl for sure. but others if I met them.
Lysa : girls watch from distance and choose the most persistant. that i know from life experience of my elder women friends. they all married the guys that stalked them longer than the others. that meant that these guys are really serious )))))
Me : hmm I see. Thanks Lysa :, I enjoy talking to you as usual. I have to go now, have a nice evening ))
Lysa : i know))) you too, see you!
Me : paka )
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Il y a plusieurs trucs qui m'ont marqué. Selon cette amie donc :
+ Les filles ne décident pas immédiatement du statut du mec (petit ami potentiel/bon copain) mais le font au fur et à mesure de la persistance qu'il est capable de démontrer. Si cela est vrai, ca remet en cause l'idée qu'une fille intéressée facilite les choses/ n'oppose pas de résistance. Une fille froide et hautaine n'est donc pas à zapper. Dans ce cas, ou doit s’arrêter la persistance ? comment distinguer l'obsession amoureuse de ca ?
+ Les filles associent volontiers l'inaction à la couardise (coward). Elles ne voient pas ca comme synonyme d'un esprit dégagé ou d'une estime de soi élevée. Il y a aussi le cas du mec tout simplement pas intéressé, mais je pense qu'elle savent très bien faire la distinction.
+ A aucun moment elle ne dit un truc du genre "si tu sens qu'elle n'est pas intéressée passes à autre chose" ou bien "il y a d'autres filles.." etc. J'ai l'impression qu'elle pense que ca reste toujours jouable. Encore une fois c'est le contraire de la théorie "une fois foutu c'est foutu". Adieu aussi les "premières impressions" qui flinguent tout.
+ Les filles n'ont pas de problème particulier à être manipulées (pretend. that is all about relationships). Il faut juste que l'approche soit hors norme, impressionnante ou je ne sais pas quoi (elle non plus je crois). Elle arrête pas de dire "do something impressiv", là encore, je pensais que les openers étaient sans importance.
Voilà. Vous en pensez quoi ?
J'ai eu une discussion il y a quelques jours avec une amie russe sur Facebook. On se connait depuis quelques années (elle connait bien mes galères ), on a parlé de plusieurs choses la concernant. Vers la fin on a dévié sur le thème de la séduction.
Cette discussion m'a marqué parce qu'elle remet en question plusieurs croyances que je tenais pour vraies, que j'avais lu sur spikeseduction ou d'autres sites (notion de prix, comment jauger l’intérêt d'une fille, première impression..etc). J'en parle vers la fin.
Je me suis permis de faire un copier/coller d'une partie du dialogue. Animal va piquer une crise mais c'est pour la bonne cause! excusez aussi mon anglais pas terrible et le fait qu'il y ait beaucoup de caca nombriliste. Mais je voudrais bien avoir votre avis sur ca.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(....)
Lysa : )) how about you? what is new with you?
Me : well just average life, a lot of work indeed (started a new job last april). I'm practicing horse riding recently, I like this very much.
Lysa : ))) haha that means you have a lot of free time with your new job
Me : well, not really, I'm doing it on the week end. I like horses really. amazing animal.
Lysa : are you trying to impress some beauty over there? seems like that)))))))))
Me : hhh no no it's just an interest for that.. I enjoy this. But frankly we have a beautiful girl in our team.
Lysa : aha i knew that!!
Me : she's a champion, she wins a lot of horses Tours abroad.. but don't worry I'm definitly out of compétition hhh
Lysa : why you say that!
Me : well Lysa, it's "high level" she's damn beautiful, sociable, big success.. beside this, I don't think she have crush for me. so I gave up.
Lysa : when men say that i feel sorry for the girls, that is common around the world i think that men act like they don't care
Me : Lysa don't be sorry for her, she will be fine !! (haha)
Lysa : and in the end the girl might end up alone or with some jerk
Me : I don't think so.. may be she have a boyfriend now.. it's probably the case you know. that will be damn crazy if she's single.
Lysa : that doesnt mean that she is happy and settled and YOU EVEN DONT KNOW FOR SURE!!! you are >%((((
Me : well, if she's interessed with me (0.001% chance) she will do a move. then I will go for it. but now no. how about you ? anything new under the sun ?
Lysa : under the sun under the moon - no male is makig a move - i feel like men are extinct - only ghosts that look like men walk by
Me : .. you don't understand Lysa : it's not cool to be rejected you know. a man can't move unless he have signs of interest, like the girl looking at him or other things.
Lysa : it is not cool to be coward
Me : ??
Lysa : i dont know how to show this interest and sometimes i think that i made this sign and it it turns out that noone noticed this sign
Me : well, for me if a girl look at me, smile to me when I smile to her I think it's enough. but this girl I'm talking about she even don't notice me.. when I'm with another guy she look at him, talk to him without seing me. I'm defintly out of game you see. it's good to face the truth.
Lysa : because women want self-confident and even impudent, and you know - i see some men making a move - but i am not sure that i like them - and i just watch them from distance - judge them, wait. they may think that i am not interested too - and leave; and i am left all alone
Me : damn; well, if you're not sure.. that mean you're not intereseted at the moment right.. ?
Lysa : while may be when they take a chance and risk it - try to impress me, do something impressive. i may see their potential
Me : what the hell is that ?!
Lysa : no woman is sure what she wants - but confident and agressive men draw attention and they seem interesting. and then a lot of women are mistaken and broken hearted because of jerks and good guys that don't want to be intrusive - they miss their chance, and good guys blame women for being so cold hearted.
Me : well, you're probably right..
Lysa : while - for instance i so very much am afraid of being regected by some macho tooo and dont know how to make a move
Me : that's easy Lysa : all you have to do is look at him if he looks at you and smile if he smile that's really enough and encouraging! and you're not loosing anything because it's a common behavior. how can a guy go to talk to a girl if she's not even want to look at him ?
Lysa : it is the hardest thing in the world - to show interest and look in the eyes. it is much easier to pretend to be not interested, it is easier to pretend to be self-sufficient and disinterested pretence is all about women.
Me : I See. but I still think that if a woman is intereset she will make things easy for the guy.
Lysa : women pretend to be disinterested, but the very moment you make the first move - she will follow your actions and watch you carefully and observe your next move and you will have to give her assurance that you are something different
Me : well yeah.. but beside this, I'm not sure that I'm "enough" for this girl you know.. she's from a wealthy background (kinda "bourgeois") and a horseriding champion. I'm just an average guy.
Lysa : i mean women in general
Me : oh I see.
Lysa : there must be a lot of women
Me : yeah sure.
Lysa : and making a move towards one of them can draw attention of another one. make moves to two women a day at least and a third woman may fall in love in the end))))))))))
Me : hhh
Lysa : women need knights, unexpectedness, romance, and even if one romance ends it doesn't mean that it was useless and in vain every romance is meaningfull
Me : hhh you're a romantic girl!
Lysa : average girl
Me : you must listen to Glinka hh the famous russian composer (haha)
Lysa : ) ok i will. but you must listen to me!!!
Me : okay, I will make move if I see a girl but this is something rare I don't have time really doing a lot of sport, piano work also..
Lysa : don't be lasy - compliment to as many women as you can. try to say nice words to so many women as you see during the day. tell soft words to women and don't think about MARRIGE when you say those words; say good words to be interesting otherwise you are one more boring guy that has marrige issues that is really creepy!
Me : I'm not james bond Lysa : you can't expecte miracle from random guy.
Lysa : pretend. that is all about relationships.
Me : yeah. I wish it was more easy..
Lysa : and some time later you will get used to it and find something true. it is easy !!!!
Me : ok I'll try. not with this girl for sure. but others if I met them.
Lysa : girls watch from distance and choose the most persistant. that i know from life experience of my elder women friends. they all married the guys that stalked them longer than the others. that meant that these guys are really serious )))))
Me : hmm I see. Thanks Lysa :, I enjoy talking to you as usual. I have to go now, have a nice evening ))
Lysa : i know))) you too, see you!
Me : paka )
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Il y a plusieurs trucs qui m'ont marqué. Selon cette amie donc :
+ Les filles ne décident pas immédiatement du statut du mec (petit ami potentiel/bon copain) mais le font au fur et à mesure de la persistance qu'il est capable de démontrer. Si cela est vrai, ca remet en cause l'idée qu'une fille intéressée facilite les choses/ n'oppose pas de résistance. Une fille froide et hautaine n'est donc pas à zapper. Dans ce cas, ou doit s’arrêter la persistance ? comment distinguer l'obsession amoureuse de ca ?
+ Les filles associent volontiers l'inaction à la couardise (coward). Elles ne voient pas ca comme synonyme d'un esprit dégagé ou d'une estime de soi élevée. Il y a aussi le cas du mec tout simplement pas intéressé, mais je pense qu'elle savent très bien faire la distinction.
+ A aucun moment elle ne dit un truc du genre "si tu sens qu'elle n'est pas intéressée passes à autre chose" ou bien "il y a d'autres filles.." etc. J'ai l'impression qu'elle pense que ca reste toujours jouable. Encore une fois c'est le contraire de la théorie "une fois foutu c'est foutu". Adieu aussi les "premières impressions" qui flinguent tout.
+ Les filles n'ont pas de problème particulier à être manipulées (pretend. that is all about relationships). Il faut juste que l'approche soit hors norme, impressionnante ou je ne sais pas quoi (elle non plus je crois). Elle arrête pas de dire "do something impressiv", là encore, je pensais que les openers étaient sans importance.
Voilà. Vous en pensez quoi ?