- Sam Fév 17, 2007 1:14 pm
#3017
Une autre
excellente newsletter de lui, tout simplement incroyable qu'avec quelques simples lignes il nous permet de comprendre enfin le comportement étrange de 90% des gens qu'on a rencontré dans toute une vie.
Idem, prenez le temps de la lire
en entier, là je ne vous envoie que du préselectionné qui m'a moi-meme bcp servi.
[quote="Stephane Hemon from Ideagasms"]
[size=150][color=red]
Are you an energy vampire?[/color][/size]
The main problem that people have when it comes to getting their
sex life together is that they GIVE AWAY THEIR POWER. Most people
give away their power to a certain extent, and this newsletter
contains the blueprint that you'll need to become aware of WHOM
you're giving your power away to and HOW you're giving it away.
Awareness is the key, because until you become aware of something,
you are on auto-pilot.
[size=150][color=red]
So what is an Energy Vampire?[/color][/size]
Well, they don't usually suck your blood; what they do is they
suck your ENERGY.
Chances are high that your life is filled with these types of
people. My guess is that you'll see your parents in these descriptions,
you'll see some of your friends, lovers, and perhaps even yourself.
When dealing with an Energy Vampire, you can feel it instantly.
You will get a feeling in the Solar-Plexus Chakra (in the "upper-belly"
region), which is linked to our emotional body and central nervous
system.
(Otherwise known as a "gut feeling" or an intuition)
There are 5 main types of energy vampires -
- The "POOR ME"
- The "Aloof"
- The "Interrogator"
- The "Intimidator"
- The Boaster and Bragger
These people usually leave us feeling tired; they drain our
energy and self-esteem. And worse, we cannot get them out of
our heads afterwards! We tend to re-play the conversation in
our head, telling ourselves that we should have said "this"
or "that" instead...
[size=150][color=red]
Energy Vampire #1 - The "POOR ME"[/color][/size]
These people drain your energy by complaining, and sometimes
implying that you are somehow responsible for their troubles.
When in the presence of this person, you will find yourself
feeling guilty, even though deep down you know that their life
challenges aren't your fault. You'll feel as though you need
to defend against the idea that you're not giving or doing enough
for this person.
Many people use their misfortunes in life to gain sympathy.
They want to talk about the suffering they've endured, or about
the mistreatment of their parents, or about their illness, or
some other deprivation or failure.
These people see the world as UNFAIR, and avoid taking responsibility.
And they want you to hear all about it! They focus on negative
energy in order to STEAL energy (attention, sympathy, pity,
etc.).
When something traumatic happens, it's okay to obtain support.
With time, you heal and learn the lessons that are involved
(assuming that you can take responsibility).
But when people use their life's suffering as a way to gain
pity and attention (YOUR energy), you need to learn how to shield
from that.
When dealing with a "poor me", the best way to help them is
to see if they can help themselves. Are they willing to look
at the role that THEY have played in creating their own reality?
Can they take response-ability?
If they can't handle the truth, if they are too stuck in their
heads to view themselves objectively and without getting defensive,
I have learned to simply tell them that I am BUSY.
Because the truth is that we ARE too busy to have our energy
drained by people with the victim mentality.
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Energy Vampire #2 - The "Aloof"[/color][/size]
These people act emotionally distant, usually in response to
having had overbearing or controlling parents.
They are withdrawn, and see the world as overwhelming and threatening.
They are often distrustful and suspicious of others motives,
and people describe them as being "shy" or even "snobby".
Someone who is aloof is PRETENDING that they don't care what
others think. It is a FAKE social mask, designed to give them
the "upper hand".
On a more global scale, they are the "innocent" or apathetic
bystanders who take little or no responsibility in shaping our
world.
You know you're in the presence of an Aloof person when you
find yourself doing all the talking, and asking question after
question, trying to get them to come out of their shell. They
will contribute very little to the conversation. This is exactly
where they want you, because it gives them a feeling of control.
This is how they get attention, validation, and your energy.
You'll probably feel inadequate or "less than", as if something
is inherently wrong with you. Again, you'll feel discomfort
in the solar-plexus Chakra.
If you complain, they will often just give you the SILENT TREATMENT.
MOST of today's so-called "attractive women" are aloof, and
knowing how to spot them, and training them to open up, is crucial.
A lot of guys ask me, "Where do you draw the line between working
on your "game" versus just walking away from somebody who is
no good for you? How do you know for certain that it wasn't
your "game" (or lack thereof) that failed?"
Most of the time when they ask me this, I know that they're
dealing with a woman who is quite aloof.
Personally, I draw the line when a woman makes me feel insignificant
or un-worthy of her time.
Doesn't she know that I'm Squirtmaster Steph?
[size=150][color=red]
Energy Vampire #3 - The "Interrogator"[/color][/size]
Interrogators used to be my personal "pet peeve" when I didn't
know how to handle them.
It is because they ask questions that aren't sincere - they
really DO NOT want to hear your views, but instead, they use
questions to BREAK DOWN your views and try to make you doubt
yourself.
Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because they
are perfectionists; These people see the life as a competitive
GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes to manipulating
others.
Their philosophy? "Life is just a game - You either play by
the rules, or you're a loser."
It's been said that the greatest illusion of "Satan" lied in
his ability to make people believe he didn't exist. That's
a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators do to people,
because when you spot an Interrogator and try to gently point
out what he/she is doing, they too will pretend that they are
innocent and that this heavily ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS
pattern of behavior does not exist.
Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is
something wrong with YOU. They'll go, "Why would you say that?
Why are you so PARANOID, huh?" (Notice they are not really
asking a question, but rather, making a statement about you.)
Or they will accuse you of being "too sensitive"... as if sensitivity
was a bad thing!
Interrogators undermine other people's reality, usually by making
insincere comments (such as a "neg" or subtle put-down) or by
asking lots of rhetorical questions, and trying to find the
weak points in what people are saying and doing.
MANY of the top "seduction community guru's" are simply INTERROGATORS.
This is why they "play the game" and have all sorts of complicated
"chess moves" and strategies for interacting with women. They
have an AGENDA.
There is nothing wrong with having "game" insofar as you aren't
actively lying to people.
Crooked sales people, lawyers, politicians, and other business
criminals are often Interrogators as well.
Interestingly, they probably had ALOOF PARENTS. Aloof parents
often "create" interrogator children. It's the child's way of
getting the parent to pay attention to them.
Interrogators also offer a lot of "unsolicited advice". They
want to tell you what you "should" and "shouldn't" do, be, think,
and feel. They can be quite arrogant.
They ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play "Devil's
advocate". But the questions they ask are not questions at all!
It is their attempt to break down your reality in the form of
negative presuppositions about you.
Again, you will know when you're being interrogated when you
get that uncomfortable feeling at the midline (Solar-Plexus
Chakra). This is what happens when people manipulate our emotions.
You will sense that they are asking you questions not out of
a sincere desire to understand your point of view, but out of
a desire to tear down your reality to suit their needs.
"Why would you say that?!"
"Why would you take that class in college?!"
"What's the matter with you?!"
Note that those aren't "questions" at all. If you look closer,
they are coming right out and telling you that you're STUPID.
You see, they aren't interested in other people's wisdom, although
they're good at ACTING as though they are!
You'll often hear them say, "I'm just trying to help you." But
helping you is usually the last thing on their minds. They are
attempting to dominate and control you, but DISGUISING it as
"help."
They do this out of a need to feel important, superior, and
stronger because deep down, they're really afraid that they
are inferior. That's what "machismo" really is.
They want to be seen as "alpha", or ABOVE other people. This
is why the 'seduction community' often talks about having "Higher
Value" than women. Psychiatrists label them with "Narcissistic
Personality Disorder" and joke among themselves that there are
none because they never come to therapy.
"Higher Value" doesn't exist, except on a material level.
[size=150][color=red]
Evergy Vampire #4 - The "Intimidator"[/color][/size]
While Interrogators see life as a GAME, INTIMIDATORS see life
as a WAR. As such, Intimidators are easy to spot.
These are the macho's, the control freaks, the bullies, the
paranoids, the authoritarians, the "alpha males", the rage-aholics
- you name it.
The reason they act this way, just like with all of the control
types, is out of FEAR. They are afraid that others are trying
to take their power away from them and that they won't be loved
or get what they want. Very often they are still playing out
an old unresolved childhood sexual abuse drama.
They intimidate others into giving them money, love, attention,
etc. by being judgmental, smart-alecky, cocky, sarcastic, aggressive,
dominant, loud, angry, violent, self-centered, etc.
When in the presence of other Intimidators, the interaction
can often escalate to arguments and violence.
An interesting thing happens with Intimidators. When they notice
that they aren't able to control or bully you into submission,
they will often SWITCH into a "Poor Me". Instead of using threats,
they might try to use guilt instead.
Poor Me's will also "switch" from time to time and become aggressive
when they are not getting the pity they are craving. Perhaps
you can remember a time when your "sweet" ex-girlfriend or boyfriend
went from crying and begging to RAGE and YELLING.
An aloof will often turn into an interrogator, and an interrogator
will often turn into an aloof when they realize they can't control
you.
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Energy Vampire #5 - The Boaster and Bragger[/color][/size]
"Look at how cool, clever, and lovable I am!" is the unspoken
message that they want you to hear, as they go on and on and
on about their past accomplishments. More often than not, they
are LYING, or at least exaggerating.
Boasters and Braggers have deep-seated abandonment issues manifesting
itself as an addiction to approval and praise. You will find
that they usually had a mother or father who left them when
they were very young. If the parents didn't actually physically
leave them, they most certainly weren't very loving and emotionally
available.
By the way, in my opinion THIS is what the seduction community
really means when they teach their students to have a "routine-based
game". They encourage men to tell "canned stories". They want
you to lie, exaggerate, and brag about your accomplishments
so you can demonstrate your supposed "higher value".
And while there is nothing wrong with making yourself more interesting
by telling entertaining stories and jokes, I highly recommend
that you use your OWN stories and jokes. There is no need to
lie.
How To Handle An Energy Vampire:
The same way we handle ALL of our relationships! "Unconditional
Love MINUS Putting Up With Crap (manipulation) = HAPPY!"
Again, with all of the above Energy Vampires, it is perfectly
okay to tell them that you are BUSY. Because you ARE too busy
to listen to garbage.
No need to JUDGE them, just send them lots of LOVE! More than
anything, Energy Vampires need love. And by "love" I don't
mean you should allow yourself to be manipulated by them. But
judging them doesn't help anyone either - perhaps if they had
more people who loved them in the first place, they wouldn't
be acting the way they are.
These psychological and energetic "blueprints" are based in
low self-esteem. If you have any of these energies within yourself
(you do, it's just a matter of degree), the cure is to LOVE
AND HONOR YOURSELF.
THE most challenging thing you will ever do is to love yourself.
Je suis parti assez rapidement après ça. Leur goût du drame m'exaspère.
